I hate all girls vehemently.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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