thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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