First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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