Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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