Porn is love you can see.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
