i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
