I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
