Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
