Porn is love you can see.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
