Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
