it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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