dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
