Acid is not a monday night drug
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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