hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
