were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
