If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You were trust falling into bushes
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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