ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
