The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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