I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
