I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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