i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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