oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
