You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize