His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I need water and some morals
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
