if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The feeling are messing with the penis
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
