you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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