It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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