He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
