Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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