4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
