He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
i out mim tonsoeep
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
