I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
