i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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