Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
