I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
