I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
