Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
