Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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