I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
