She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
