Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
