i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
