it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize