I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
