hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
