i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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