i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
