U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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