Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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