why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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