either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize