We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
