My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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