85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
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