I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
