He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize