You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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