so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
