Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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