You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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