My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Even my vagina gasped.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
