Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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