Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
