Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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