I don't think brook has ever known best
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
