hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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