last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
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