I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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