You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
