I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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