I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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