You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
