yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
did you just send me my own nude
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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