did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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