it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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