I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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