found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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