That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
